For many Christians, the journey toward Easter is one of celebration, hope, and victory. But before we reach the empty tomb of Sunday, we must stand at the foot of the cross on Good Friday. While we often rush toward the "happy ending," there is profound psychological and spiritual value in staying present in the darkness of Friday.
In the world of Christian mental health, we call this the practice of lament.
Lament is not just a vent of frustration or a lack of faith; it is a vital spiritual discipline that bridges the gap between our deepest pain and our trust in God. This Good Friday, let’s explore how the biblical practice of lament can serve as a catalyst for emotional healing and mental wellness.
What is Biblical Lament?
Lament is a specific form of prayer. Over a third of the Psalms are psalms of lament. It is a loud cry to God that acknowledges a painful reality while simultaneously reaching out for His hand.
On the cross, Jesus Himself engaged in lament, quoting Psalm 22: “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” By doing this, Jesus gave us permanent permission to be honest about our suffering. He showed us that feeling "forsaken" or overwhelmed is not a sin—it is a human experience that God Himself stepped into.
The Mental Health Benefits of Lamenting
In modern culture—and sometimes even within the church—there is a pressure to stay "positive." This can lead to what psychologists call toxic positivity, where we suppress negative emotions to appear more spiritual. However, suppressed emotions often manifest as chronic anxiety, depression, or physical tension (what we might call "The Pressure" or "The Heat").
Practicing lament on Good Friday offers several mental health benefits:
1. Emotional Regulation and Validation
Lament allows us to name our pain. In clinical terms, "naming it to tame it" helps move the brain from a state of high-alert (the amygdala) to a state of processing (the prefrontal cortex). When we tell God exactly what hurts, we validate our own experience rather than shaming ourselves for feeling it.
2. Ending the Cycle of Isolation
Nature’s response to trauma is often isolation. We feel that no one understands, or that our "dark thoughts" aren't welcome in sacred spaces. Good Friday reminds us that Christ is the "Man of Sorrows, acquainted with grief" (Isaiah 53:3). Lamenting connects our personal suffering to the suffering of Christ, reminding us that we are never alone in the valley.
3. Creating Space for True Hope
Hope that skips over pain is often fragile and superficial. Real resilience is built when we acknowledge the gravity of the "Friday" experiences in our lives—grief, theft, betrayal, or illness—and still look toward the possibility of Sunday.
How to Practice Lament This Holy Week
If you are struggling with anxiety or carrying a heavy burden, use this Good Friday to practice intentional lament. Here is a simple framework based on the structure of the Psalms:
Address God Honestly: Start with an intimate address. "Heavenly Father," or "My God."
Bring Your Complaint: Don't hold back. Tell Him about the voices of doubt, the financial stress, the family tension, or the feelings of failure. Use raw language.
Ask Boldly: Ask for what you need. Ask for peace, for intervention, for healing, or simply for the strength to breathe through "The Pressure."
Choose to Trust: Lament almost always ends with a "yet." “My heart is heavy, YET I will praise You.” This isn't ignoring the pain; it’s a decision to trust the Character of the One holding you.
Moving from Friday to Sunday
At its core, Christian counseling seeks to integrate these spiritual truths with psychological tools. We recognize that our nervous systems need more than just "positive thinking"; they need the deep, grounding truth that God is present in our lament.
Good Friday teaches us that God does not look away from our suffering. He entered it. When we lament, we aren't just complaining; we are engaging in a holy form of mental health maintenance. We are clearing the "noise" and "static" of our souls to make room for the quiet, steady hope of the Resurrection.
Final Thoughts
If you find that the "Friday" seasons of your life are lasting longer than you can bear, remember that you don't have to walk this path alone. Seeking support through community or professional counseling is a brave step toward the healing God has for you.
This Good Friday, give yourself permission to not be okay. Sit in the lament. Know that the Man of Sorrows is sitting there with you.
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